**Note: this is part II of the two part monster article “Change Your Life And Eliminate Money Problems”
For a person who is happy it is hard to imagine that so many of us suffer with the question of how to be happy. If you’ve been unhappy for any length of time, then you know what I am trying to say here. Without happiness, nothing else matters. Too often, our money issues consume our lives and our brains for so long that we begin to perceive money as the answer to our problems. You can have all of the possessions on the face of the earth and you still won’t be happy if you are focusing on the wrong things. The key in coming to terms with this unhealthy pattern is realizing that there is NO possession that will MAKE you happy.
Happiness comes from within. To understand what’s wrong when you’re unhappy you must start with yourself. You can’t blame every person in your environment and you can’t blame everything that happened in the past. “Stuff” happened in every persons life. Don’t be so naive as to believe that your life has been any worse than someone elses.
Realizing that you are dwelling on your own unhappiness and thinking you’re the only one that feels like this is a good indicator that you’ve got to change the way you let your mind take over your thoughts and emotions. Do you see the truth in this statement? Do you truly believe that you’re the only one in the world with such huge problems? Everyone’s got anxiety, depression, horrible stories, and countless regrets. What makes you think that you’re so special that only YOU have such issues? Now, ask yourself why some of these people can move past their issues and you can’t. Right, you believe that yours are worse…well, you would be wrong. You can’t move past your issues if you are hiding behind excuses, assuming people you see each day are happier than you, or maybe you just can’t let yourself acknowledge how unhappy you truly are.
No one teaches us how to solve our innermost problems, how to honestly evaluate our own failings. Some of us learn through our own mistakes and some of us don’t. If you’ve never seen the possibility in evaluating your own behavior and coming to realize your own insecurities then, of course, you can’t be aware that you can change your life by changing how you think. Your first step has got to be in realizing that there is noone to blame, not even yourself. Growing up happens to all of us. Some more slowly than others. The sooner you come to terms with your own reality and learn to love yourself for who you are, the sooner you will be happy with your life.
Once you learn to value yourself and your quality of life, your desires and perceptions of money will change. You will begin to put less value on the pursuit of money. Given enough time and enough introspection, you will begin to see that you’ve already got the capacity to be happy with no strings attached. There is no price tag on happiness. You don’t need “stuff” and society’s picture of happiness to be happy. This is the point that you will begin to understand more and more; living a fulfilling, peaceful life has nothing to do with possessions. True accumulation of wealth is simply the accumulation of moments of happiness throughout your life on a daily basis. Once you realize this, you’re money problems will be gone. Maybe you’re offended that I’m trying to tell you that it’s this simple. Give it some thought, see if you don’t start to see some truth in this perspective.
Solving Money Problems Through Personal Growth
So, we can talk about this all day long but what do we do about changing how we think about our money problems and our life? Well, the first thing you’ve got to do is come to terms with how you think about your life and where you place your priorities. Changing how you think about your life will, in turn, lead to changing how you think about money.
What are your goals? Goal setting is a huge part of making changes in your life, but are you placing your future on the right goals? Do they all revolve around money and possessions? If your answer is yes, then you’re the person that can best be helped by rethinking your priorities. I’m not saying that to sound harsh. The fact that your main goals in life revolve around monetary aspects is a good indicator that you’ve lost site of the most important thing of all; your happiness right now. Are you happy and fulfilled right now or are you waiting to be happy and fulfilled when you reach your goals? Sounds kind of ridiculous when you read it in writing, doesn’t it. Here’s what you are saying if you believe that. You are saying that you are NOT happy right now but that’s to be expected because you can’t be happy until you reach your monetary/possesion goals? Hmmm, what happens if it takes 3 years to meet your goals? What happens if it takes 7 years to meet your goals? What if you never reach those goals? You are agreeing to be unhappy within your current existance in exchange for the hope that in the future you will be happy (as soon as you can buy everything on your “happy list”).
At what point will you contemplate the idea that it’s not the accomplishment of your current goals that will bring you happiness? Of course, at the time that you accomplish ANY goal, you will be happy with that particular accomplishment. But your current frame of mind IS your life right now. Would you not prefer that you be happy in this very moment and the next and the next? Imagine how much easier and less stressful life would be! Here’s the kicker; you CAN be happy in the this very moment. You once new how to be happy instinctivley, you’ve just forgotten how. It wasn’t a problem when you were a child. It’s easy to be happy when you’re a child, you didn’t have any responsibilities, right? That’s a copout and an excuse, just so you know. It is just as easy to be happy now as it was when you were a child. Certainly this will be a different kind of happiness, with a few more daily responsibilities thrown in, but happiness none the less.
Many people spend their lives trying to reach the goal of lots of money so that they can be happy. When they finally reach that goal they realize that the money changed nothing. You are either happy or you’re not; money or not. No amount of money can change that. Stop the cycle that you’re on and begin working on your personal growth and understanding yourself. This will bring you happiness. Money will not. Worst case scenario is this; would you rather be happy with no money or be unhappy and have plenty of cash? Honest question, easy answer. Don’t assume that lots of one begets lots of the other. This is rarely the case.
To learn how to think differently about your life you’re going to have to learn more about yourself. If you’re ready then I would like to suggest some very informative and life-changing reading material. The Four Agreements
Solving Money Problems A New Way
So, how does all of this eliminate your money problems? Well, you will learn to place more importance on the important things in life and this will remove your focus from money. This will, in itself, eliminate most of your money worries simply by removing money from the focus of your life. Through the simple act of becoming more balanced and happy in your daily life you will need less and less money to survive on. You won’t be feeling the desire, or the need, to purchase multiple items to make yourself feel “happy”. The money that you DO spend will be mostly on the necessities and you will be very surprised to realize how little the necessities of life are. The entire process of learning about yourself and focussing on what’s truly important will completely change your priorities and your cash flow. Money becomes a non-issue. You buy less, what you do buy is not as expensive as it once was, and you lose bad habits that may have cost you money previously. Smoking, drinking and other habits are things we use as a crutch to get through the day. You won’t need those anymore because you’ll have come to terms with yourself and you are happier.
This isn’t an overnight process. For many of you, this will take months, probably years. But the process is so amazing and you feel so accomplished and at peace along the way. Give this a try by focusing on your happiness and not on your possessions. Assuming that this is all stupid and ridiculous will keep you in the stage you’re at. If you like it there, by all means stay. We all come to this realization at different points in our lives. Alternatively, if you find yourself more and more consumed with the pursuit of a dollar, the pursuit of possessions, and you’re feeling stressed and unhappy in your life then you may find this subject worthy of your attention.
Learning to self-analyze and become introspective with yourself is a skill that many of us aren’t accepting of until we’ve gone through enough trauma in our lives and have tried every other avenue. Blaming others, making excuses, resorting to medications and substances to change our moods, and making multiple repeated bad choices in our lives finally gets us to the doorstep of ourselves. This is when we’re ready to learn about our own issues and we begin to accept that everything that happens in our lives is a reflection or our choices or is a lesson that we can grow wiser from. We learn to embrace life to the fullest each day by accepting the good with the bad. We learn huge lessons from each experience, good or bad.
If you’re not ready to look inward that is understandable. Looking inward won’t help you at all if you haven’t reached the point in your life that you need it. How do you decide if you’re ready? Well, are you unhappy often? Does the thought of your need for more money cross your mind regularly? Are you anxious, confused, afraid? Do you feel lost? All of these things point to the fact that you may be ready. Take this one step further and read some of the suggested reading. After reading some of it you’ll know if you feel a connection, a truth that speaks to you. If you don’t feel this, you’re probably not ready or maybe you’re just fine how you are (maybe). Try numerous different self-help books or motivational books, different ones strike a chord with different people depending on where you are in your life experience. Either way, there is infinite truth in the saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will come”.